Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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