You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
