butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
They took my balls.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
