She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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