i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
