Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
