We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
