i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
