Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize