do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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