I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
