So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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