So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
