If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
