is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
