I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
