I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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