you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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