You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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