Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
