obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
