call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize