guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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