You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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