Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
