My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
