too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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