do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
