I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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