can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
