no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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