I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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