I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
