My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
