I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize