but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
