Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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