I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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