Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
