also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
