fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
