i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
