His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
