The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
