He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
