fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize