I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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