you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
