She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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