how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
