I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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