Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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