And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
