we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize