oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
