As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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