woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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