i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
