pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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