Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
