She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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