why do cheetos always look like penises
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
