I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
His hands were made for my vagina.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
