I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
