An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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