And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
