just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
