I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Alive.
So much puke
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
