remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
