You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
